It's true that life never gets easier the older you get, it just gets harder... and more complicated. Ben Yue said at OCF Returnees, "You look back at the things that used to worry you when you were younger, you laugh because they look so trivial now!" What he also said was to look at the present troubles with perspective from the future - what looms big now will one day look trivial too.
I was watching 'Marley & Me' just now, which sort of propelled me to a sort of postgraduate life crisis moment. The movie brought out more of the seasons of adult life than was in the book version - the struggles and complexities that come with working out our careers, marriage & parenting... and figuring how to blend them all together or preventing them from falling apart.
The pregraduate years were pretty simple, because EVERYTHING was planned out for you - you studied for exams, finish highschool, get a scholarship (or not!), go to pre-U, study for exams (again!), go to University, study for exams (yet again!!)... and graduate. Then for medicine you work hard and get through internship year, figure out what you might want to specialize in, then apply for residency (plus pay off scholarship bond for me).
But after that... it's all BLANK, for me at least. I don't have a plan for what happens after. It might've been great if I was ambitious and knew exactly what I'd want to specialize in - but the fact is I don't really mind specializing or not. And it would've been great if there is some guy that I'd want to marry and spend the rest of my life with - but the fact is I don't think I can even bring myself to go out with one in the first place.
So... my plans for what happens after becoming a full fledged doctor and a free woman (from my scholarship bond) is completely and utterly NOTHING.
And that scares me. Big time.
Dear God, that leaves You free to bring whatever You will, doesn't it?
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