PEOPLE I LIKE

Linkin Park was the first ever concert I attended. Linkin Park was the Metallica of our generation; we grew up with them - the first ever NuMetal band that made it mainstream. Linkin Park was the band of my teenage years – that period of growing up and facing the broader world.

Why, Chester?

In the era of MTV and Channel V, there was so much of mainstream music that I could not identify with - lyrics that were ever so difficult to relate to. But you sang of frustration and longing, of what we could become – of so much more than those others – and with such rawness and emotion.

Why, Chester?

Takahiro Moriuchi sang in your stead for your tribute. Oh, how difficult it is! I guess the place you left cannot be filled. Your voice was one of a kind.

Why, Chester?

You would have been 43 just a few days ago – March 20th. But (physical) life has always been and will always be finite - we are but a moment - what matters most was how you lived. Was there even a reason why, or was it the absence of a reason to not?

Thank you, Chester, for sharing your life and your voice with a generation. Stepping on your shoulders then, we felt big enough to take on the world.


Can I help you not to hurt anymore? We saw brilliance when the world was asleep. There are things that we can have but not keep. – One more light, Chester Bennington

I know that my redeemer lives, and that in the end He will stand on the earth. And after my skin has been destroyed, yet in my flesh I will see God : I myself will see him with my own eyes - I and not another.~Job 19:25-27

HEY

I acknowledge pain.

I also acknowledge that there are matters greater than pain.

Friendship. What is right. 

Because in the grand scheme of things, what I feel right now will not matter.

Hey, God.

HOME

When distractions fail me, the truth rings loud and clear - I want to come home.

But there is no home.

No place on earth to call home, not for the longest time.

So when my work, exam preparation, entertainment and even frenzied gymming fail me...

Carry me please.

THIS THING CALLED JOY

Finding joy in the abundance of God.

An assured joy based on a history of God's faithfulness.

An exciting joy that looks expectantly to what God can do in days to come.

And today's joys, if only we could see the miracles in the mundane.

"We are one happy people" Ps 126

ONLY HOPE

A blog is like an old friend... One that you can return to and pick up from exactly where you left off, to whisper secrets and thoughts too complicated for the ears of another (or yourself!).

Overwhelming.

Life can be overwhelming.

When I'm overwhelmed, I retreat into my shell. I block out the world, and sadly oftentimes people as well. People can be overwhelming.

Work is a shell. It's a sufficient shell. Sturdy and strong, meets all my basic, intellectual and even emotional needs.

Then there is God. Where do I put God?

Ah, God is not a 'thing' or someone I can just block out.

My shell is not sturdy enough to keep Him out. I still see Him here and there as life plays out in front of me.

What do I do with God? 

GOOD & BEST

Maybe as I pray I will start to feel like it. 

Let not what is good get in the way of what may be best.

TRAIN BOARDING

There are some phrases that stick with you for awhile.

"Train boarding, train boarding.... train has left the station." S.K, OCF cell leader, 2008

That phrase was commonly used by my previous cell leader to convey that one has not yet understood a joke even after everyone else had finished laughing over it.

Allow me to make a detour for a bit.

It has been nearly two years since I graduated from student life. Yet, I've not really made the transition from student life per se - most of my friends are still students and when I can, I still hang out with them and have fun like there's no (work) tomorrow.

And in this time period, several other people including high school friends and other same age peers have gotten married/given birth/bought a house etc. Feels as if they have moved on and I have not.

Is it just that my train has not arrived? Or has it arrived but I refuse to board?

I'm not sure if I want to go where that train takes me. But everyone boards that train sometime or later, and we each have our trains. If I wait for everyone else's trains to arrive too before I board mine, might I miss my own train?

Yet, the conversations of yesterday had all been very reassuring. No, rather the conversations I had with various people over the past two weeks had been very reassuring, and culminated in the conversations I had yesterday.

Whether my train has finally arrived or I'm finally ready to board my train... I don't know. 

But I'm boarding.

Because I've had the reassurance that You will provide for me where needed, and there are those who will journey with me in one way or another, at least for awhile yet.