GANG UP? NO, THANK YOU

Is it human nature to gang up? Most people if not all, naturally do. Could it be because of a feeling of insecurity in a new environment? Or is there just a yearning in the heart for company, to fill that lonely silence? For somewhere to belong? Or because so and so happens to be in the same class or lives in the same house, therefore, they’re naturally good friends? They go everywhere together, everyday. They share the latest gossip. They say nice things to each other. But I've seen too many cases of so called good friends lashing out at each other behind turned backs, or spill out each other's deepest secrets, when they thought that that was the safest place to confide in. I know for a fact that many relationships in this world are superficial. I refuse to degrade myself so. I do not make friends out of a lack of security; I don’t need friends just to accompany me to keep loneliness at bay. I do not make friends with any tom, dick and harry who just happens to be around the corner.... Some do make friends because it is their nature, and they do value their friendships...but I’ve seen enough of the majority to simply entrust myself to people in general. Would you still be my friend if I would not join you window-shopping? Would you still be my friend if I would not say nice things just to make you happy even if they weren’t real? Would you still be my friend if I refused to join you talking about 'who just paired off with who' and what 'so and so did to so and so because', 'that guy is sooo cute'...bla bla bla? As much as I pity those who gave up their own identity and independence in return for company, I must admit that when things turn upside down and you realize that you haven’t got any human friend to turn to, it sucks, big time. Sometimes it does matter that someone close by cares and is keeping an eye on you. Right now He is all I have, the only one I can turn to. Can I stand on my own, just with Him by my side? I actually do feel.... alone, read: not lonely, but alone. Perhaps it’s a good thing, I will learn to trust, and I will learn to be still in the midst of a storm. But one coal on its own will not last long, theoretically. I do know I need friends. Not batchmates, housemates, churchmates, whatever.....but friends. Would you trust your friends with your own life? I would. Those are the kind of friends I seek.

IMU ORIENTATION CONTINUED

Treasure Hunt on Thursday night wasn’t bad at all. I actually enjoyed it. It was exhilarating, running round the entire Bukit Jalil in search of the next station. Now I know this place like the back of my hand. I made an important discovery. Worms don’t smell and they’ve got no taste. Yeah, I chewed on live worms, dipped my hair into funny concoctions and got painted, egged and wasabi-ed. Icebreakers on Monday wasn’t that fun but at least it was ok.
Friday night was beyond horrible. It was disgusting. It made me sick. Variety Night is where all the IMCCs perform their dances. The only difference between Variety Night and a strip club: all the strippers are males with fake boobs. Many of the moves were VERY suggestive. No, they left little to the imagination. If I didn’t know better, I’d say this place promotes open perversity. That’s the way seniors like it. You don’t do a convincing lap dance, you’ll get booed and newspaper balls thrown at you. Don’t get me wrong, I do not support the ‘see no evil, hear no evil’ mentality. That’s what you call being plain naïve. On the contrary, I think that the root cause of the obsession with obscenity happens to be certain religious leaders who promote this exact mentality. Once the authority figure is no longer there to repress them, they lose control. I understand the value of entertainment, but there are instances where things cease to be funny and just become perverse. The dividing line between these two vary for different people. They’ve definitely crossed mine. Come on.... getting guys complete with make up and hair in skimpy clothing to turn you on. I’m sure that’s not really the case with many guys who were maybe just there for laughs, but it just proves my point: for those who didn’t believe me, people in IMU are (openly) perverted.
The good side of the story is people who come to IMU will no longer be as naïve as they used to be. Before this, I thought that pussy just means cat. But at least two groups have names and cheers that includes the noun pussy. Well, this is the real world, and that’s how it’s gonna be whether you like it or not. You won’t have to conform to it, but you better get used to it.
Telematch today was fun in the beginning, although my group was outnumbered. After the games ended, we had a lesson in anger management. That was by far the worst, but absolutely necessary.
My advice to future juniors, try not to skip any orientation programs other than Variety Night cause if you can’t take orientation, don’t expect to live through housemanship. You also learn to be more sporting and that’s where you get to know your seniors, the good, the bad, sane and sick ones so you know who to go for help in times of need and who to stay away from. For Variety Night, use your own discretion.
There’s still BBQ Night tonight but I’d rather go ECF. There’s minimum ragging anyway. Can’t say that I’m glad orientation has ended, but I’d also rather it not go on.
Man, I’m so tired….

IMU ORIENTATION

Orientation really tires you out...chasing after seniors in between talks to get their signatures and screaming your group cheer at the top of your voice...and to think that we girls actually had it easy. Each day carries a different dress code (eg. Cartoons, cross dress celebrity) and we either abide by it or prepare to get ragged. IMU is a perverted place, just as I thought; almost everyone here is perverted. My group is actually named ******’s Guns and there are groups named ‘Tom’s-dick-is-harry’ and etc. A guy from every group is chosen as the IMCC (pronounced I-am-sissy). This lucky feller will have to shave and perform a dance dressed as some damsel on the last day of orientation. Unsatisfactory performances result in “rape”....In return for signatures, we’ll have to do whatever the senior tells us to do.... We even have a flag, which gives any senior the authority to rag us if he/she manages to steal it away. That’s all I’m able to leak out, seniors wouldn’t like it if I gave too many details about what goes on within the walls of IMU. Orientation’s not so bad once you get used to it, but really tiring.... We have to think of plays, dress codes.... argh.... all I can say is I’m happy when I’m tired. Orientation will only end this Friday. They say the worst will be tonight.... treasure hunt....you really don’t wanna know what kind of stuff we’ll have to do.....
I like IMU enough, only two hours of lectures per day, lots of time to study, or rather, do other stuff. However, there are food and transport problems and all the books here are medical. INTEC’s still the best, although I’ve kinda gotten over that place, have to move on.... but for now the best of my memories still come from INTEC. Thanx Wei Sian and gang for the card....
Recently visited SIB Church and ECF (Eagle’s point). I think I’ll go for ECF since it’s the only place I can serve. This will be my last 2 and a half years playing the guitar.....I find that hard to swallow.....if anything were possible.... I’d be a musician.... not a doctor. I miss people...things aren’t the same...I shall not say....