MED SCHOOL

Things have become very settled n rather routine… medical life? Not really all that glamorous….it’s all the extra stuff that adds flavor to life…currently doing Behavioral Sciences…the subtle sciences, they call it….small part, but VERY important…will determine how much you make in private practice. We’re now working on communication skills thru interviewing simulated patients (they pretend to be patients)…which we record to be criticized by lecturers. Did you know that they (SP) can make RM 25 per two hour session? I guess that covers part of the trauma they have to go thru….So far no dissections, only really cool models which we can assemble n disassemble in the museum…kinda fun actually. Exams, what can I say? One mark for each correct answer, minus half for every incorrect answer in true/false ques, which they can ask anything, I mean ANYTHING….What else? I eat almost the same stuff everyday, food here is kinda limited unless you go out...which costs....only 2 hours of lectures each day, group discussions called Problem Based Learning (PBL), the rest is all self study….and having a room all to myself is the best thing, I can practise my guitaring whenever I want and do morning devotions freely. We just had our first practice for Friday Night Concert yesterday….really thankful to be given the opportunity altho there are others who are much more talented…. Sometimes I really wonder, what does Intec have that lacks here?

DEAR GOD

Sometimes there are things you want so badly....when all sense of logic tells you that it would be perfect for you, that it was all you've been looking for...but you know you can't have it....and you can't understand why...to be able to see, but not touch...to wake up each day thinking it cannot be because you truely believe that it was meant for you....dear God, to want nothing more than I want You...that would be the day when I've found true purpose and meaning....

WHY?

I attend quite a number of Christian activities; compared to other students…prayer meet, bible study, care group, discipleship, cf, church….lots of times I really wonder whether it’s necessary….in one senior’s point of view, it would be more worthwhile to be out there reaching out and bringing new disciples into the Kingdom rather than engage in a discussion about tithing among ourselves, esp. the older Christians…of course some still need to grow, but I guess it struck me cos all these years I’ve been fed till past bloating point….and I’m not bearing fruit, I admit….what’s the point if there is no growth in terms of making disciples? Watching this senior’s life still never ceases to amaze me….to not care what it takes, just to reach out, cos God’s heart really is for the people…to be talented, smart, sports inclined….and above all committed to His cause…to give your life sacrificially because He did not care what it cost Him….it’s true, the more you have the more is expected of you, and in that sense I can’t compare….man, I wanna be like that….why is it so hard? The other day I just pushed away a fellow believer cos she wanted to bunk in for 13 days…I said I minded….she’s been askin me previously to study together for several times already, all of which I rejected…now she doesn’t anymore…so much for tryin to be friendly…I didn’t see her in cf today…how can I explain? That I need my own space? That there is no such word as together in my vocabulary?….at least with most people? That I mind cos you don’t and won’t get me? I know that’s the sacrifice required of me, but still I can’t bring myself to do it…why? Jesus never pushed people away….Help me to love as You did, I can’t stay like this ....