From junior to senior, bullied to the bully (but I’m just too nice), church seat warmer to musician, cg member to cg leader….too many transformations, time does pass you by. What else will change? Will it be for better or worse? Pharm Sem5 will be leaving soon followed by Medic Sem4, oops Sem5 now….no more sweet Anna to talk to, Thomas to borrow acoustic guitar from, staring at Sarah both not knowing what to say, bible studies with Cindy, Victor to lend my car to and to look up to, Joseph to say hi to in the library and shake my head at wondering how he does it, Ben Shyen to be furious at and to resist the urge to strangle him half the time, Timothy to make me go ooh I didn’t look at it that way, struggling to keep up with Matthew’s train of thought and for him to tell me that I should read more…it’s happening AGAIN…time to get my autographs and say my goodbyes. I hardly got to know them! But at least I did. And to think that all the way through, You were there, watching, guiding, caring, loving…did I please You?
I don’t know what will happen in the days to come, I eagerly anticipate the future, yet I’m fearful. I’m not so sure of myself this time, how I should think, feel, act…I don’t trust myself. Help me to do what’s right. I’m not sure what to think or how to feel…or what to want. Pathetic? Yea…All I know is that You know the plans You have for me, plans to prosper me and not to harm me, plans to give me a hope and a future. I will trust with all my heart and every fiber of my being… trust that all things will be made right and clear in due time. I'm uncertain about the future, but certain about the God who holds it in His hands, that He is faithful and knows what is best.
Why do I feel like life is passing me by? I feel like I’ve only really lived for the past one and a half years. Maybe cos that’s when I’ve stopped living purely for myself, but more for others, and most of all for You. I feel like I should have taken more pictures, spent more time with more people and told them how much they really meant to me….Yes, life IS meant to be shared and given away…only then, it gains real meaning. And to think that I’m only 21….what’s next? I really can’t wait, knowing that my life is being choreographed by the God of wonders.
Jesus I belong to You, You’re the reason that I live…the reason that I sing…
1 comment:
lol... from endearing, now you want to strangle me!
ahahah, yeah i'll miss you too when we leave. But rather than having your hands around my neck, i'd rather remember you by the excellence in which you carry yourself as a guitarist as well as a student. Indeed, its inspiring as well as slightly intimidating to see your drive in everything you do... makes lazy ppl like me squirm in fear!
God bless,
Ben Shyen
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