LAST WORDS BEFORE MEDICAL SCHOOL

Finished packing at last…serve me right for doing things last minute. Went for dinner with my family at a hotel, a result cum birthday cum fare well celebration, all at once.
A Levels results…. results seem just ok to me at first…but after considering the amount of effort I put into studying, esp. the month before the exams, I can say I did extremely well. Studying last minute with everybody everywhere getting stressed up and sick just isn’t my style. Relaxing is. So glad I did. Praise God for blessing me with good memory. My aim was just getting three As so I could get in IMU. Yeah!
My birthday happens to be yesterday…yes, YESTERDAY. Some didn’t know, others honestly forgot, still others mixed up my birthday with Squall’s…whatever the case, don’t need to feel guilty, there’s always next year (but then there are two or more ppl out there who…). Btw, thanks to Trisha and gang for the thoughtful present, Ee Ling, NLRC juniors and pastors for the cards…
Will be driving up to KL tomorrow to my so called ‘condo’ with IMU just across the street. Got a room to myself, although it’s much smaller than my previous room in INTEC and it faces the air well. Ahh….I took INTEC life for granted. Bugs me still that I happen to be interested in everything other than what I’m supposed to be interested in…the physics of music production, philosophy and gadgets, they just fascinate me so. Perhaps it’s human nature to be fascinated with things we can’t fathom. There seems to be no mystery concerning human biology, unless it’s in the field of metaphysics. Then again, can’t imagine myself being a musician, engineer or anything else. I’m not all excited about medical school. Medical students, medical books; medical magazines…hope I don’t go mad. Can’t really fool around anymore; have to take studying seriously from now on, it determines where I go next. I so miss life in INTEC….

BEING WHO I MUST BECOME

Sometimes being a Christian means that most of the time, I can’t be myself. I have an image to live up to. It means ceasing to think the way I think. It’s giving up what I want, tolerating and learning to enjoy what I don’t, giving way when I think I have every right. It means sacrificing my desires so that others may be blessed instead, smiling when I don’t think I have any reason to, loving when I would rather ignore, being in company and tied down rather than my preferred choice of being aloof. Can I really give it all up and be poured out wine? I wish I could…but most of the time I’d rather just be me. Don’t some people understand that it’s an issue of reluctance rather than not having confidence in God to do it? I’m happier with people who are worldlier.

JPA CAMPS

Can’t not complain about them, can’t fly without them. Nevertheless, I’m proud to say that I’ve been through all three camps and came out alive, intact and sane.
Camp Bina Insan
Oops…not exactly a JPA camp but found out too late. A must for all universities in Selangor? Includes talks, group activities and physical activities. The objective is to toughen us up or try to break us? (the result of not paying attention during talks)
Venue: Ulu Yam
Duration: 3 days, 2 nights
Food: moderate to bad
Facilities: 3/10
Good: jungle trekking, sleeping in real tents, bathing in the river
Bad: dumb games with dubious objectives, sand EVERYWHERE
My Experience: Jungle trekking. About eight of us were sent off at midnight into the dark, mountainous terrain with only one torchlight, a map drawn totally out of scale and absolutely no connection to the outer world. The slope would reach 40 degrees in certain areas; you could slip and fall any moment or suffer attacks by leeches before you even know they were on to you. You could lose your life (hey, anything is possible). Fortunately, no one did. We just got lost cause we took a wrong turning when we were supposed to follow the stream which didn’t look like a stream….etc etc. Thank God someone had the sense to smuggle in a handphone, called for help, completed mission at 4:00 hours. Also had the experience of sleeping right on top of the bare ground, gazing up at the stars through an opening in the canopy of trees while the gush of water from the nearby river filled the air. Experience ended after four hours when it began to drizzle…oh well…The tent was stuffy with three people, stones directly beneath the tent would poke at you while you sleep, but at least I slept.
Psycho Camp
To gauge how far off one is from the brink of sanity and whether you will bend or break overseas. No one has failed…..yet.
Venue: Pusat Sukan Selayang
Duration: 2 days, 1 night
Food: good to moderate
Facilities: 10/10
Good: lots of free time, low security, air conditioned rooms
Bad: too much free time?
My experience: Got to know what my course mates thought of me, visited Batu Caves and received my psycho analysis report. Says that I’m inhibited (I find it difficult to express my feelings, be on intimate grounds with people and tend to bottle up my feelings). But am I also hostile and dominant? Hmm….that’s new…
Camp Bina Negara
Camp to inspire patriotism (some call it ‘brain-washing’) so that JPA scholars will remember to come back, serve the country and not waste precious taxpayers’ money.
Venue: Camp Bumi Jati
Duration: 5days, 4nights
Food: good to moderate
Facilities: 6/10
Good: you might actually learn something
Bad: the risk of being overseen by a biased facilitator, limited sleeping time, boring talks
My experience: Although conditions are better compared to Ulu Yam, the much dreaded talks in day two almost sapped the life out of me. With much horror I anticipated day three. We were divided into groups consisting of 13 people. A facilitator was assigned to each group. Called Latihan Dalam Kumpulan, we had 8 sessions over two days. We got to know our facilitator, En ‘Izudin, a little better and discovered that he was an extremely open minded person, did not betray any bias and was knowledgeable in the field of alternative medicine, dabbled a little in metaphysics and fairly understood other religions. Having a facilitator like him does make all the difference. We discussed controversial theories, politics, religion, globalism etc….and actually had fun doing it. I think I actually learnt something, I learnt lots. And to top it all up, I had a great time expressing my love to my country too. This camp isn’t too bad, for me at least.

A TRIBUTE TO TAIKOR

For inspiring us to always strive for more by setting an example of living in faith and courage day by day
For all your words of encouragement in our time of need to never give up on God, that He will see us through every circumstance
For showing us the true meaning of family and bringing us together in unity when we were so alone
For being there and telling us that everything is ok, that you know and understand, even when our lives are a mess
For how you’d always make sure that we’re doing fine and adapting well, so that we’d never feel lost or left out
For accepting and loving us just as we are, and believing in us regardless of our background or faults
For every time you called me sis……..

Dear Albert,
Although you are far away and out of our sight, we remember and we thank you. You will always be in our memories and prayers, although alone in a physical sense, yet you aren’t spiritually. We will never forget to have that same passion, if not more, in chasing after God and the things He has in store for us.
As for me, I’ll be waiting in IMU for you to come visit and cook for me. ;)

Albert Lukas (ALG 6) from Miri is now studying engineering in Germany. TaiKor of the NLRC Gang, he was one of the few who pioneered the CA and made it possible for fortnight gatherings of the whole CA. He's the one in orange. Remember that face, if you ever bump into him in Miri or something, say hi to him for me.

MY HAPPIEST MOMENTS IN INTEC

There are only a few things that I find difficult in life. Leaving INTEC just happens to be one of them. Maybe I’m not as cold as I imagined myself to be. Maybe I do care; maybe it does matter that I will never see more than half of those people again. Maybe they do matter to me; maybe I do miss them...already. Only God knows. The people are gone but memories still remain, memories that I will take with me wherever I go. Memories of music practices with the UiTM Band, jogging round Akasia before the park came to be, d old ‘NLRC Gang’ outings, playing for CA, Wednesday jogs in the park followed by dinner, walking dedicated van drivers back from Becky’s place, eating durians by Cemara guardhouse, playing fireworks by the café, jogging in the park stealing glances at a guy kicking a ball, Taikor patting me on the head, playing badminton amidst pools of water after a downpour, eating McD’s ice cream, teaching various people play the guitar, just being in the presence of my roommates. I’d gladly memorize the entire A Levels syllabus again, abide by INTEC’s strict dress code by the millimeters, attend every single ethic class and get back in hostel before 11.30 pm every night, just to relive every single one of those moments. Really. (But since I knew that I could not, I took every opportunity to NOT ….*censored*)
You guys rocked my world. Literally. Now it’s time to move on to greater things ahead. I pray for courage to face the unknown, I ask for faith to believe that every single one of Your promises will come to pass, for all of us. I ask for You to guide and lead every single one of those people I have known and loved. Be by their side, always, I can’t do that no more. But I will keep them close to my heart ...till the day we meet again for good, never to be separated again.
GOODBYE INTEC….THANKS FOR ALL THE MEMORIES...the good and the bad.
Maybe I should’ve just cried….nah, no way.